


Carry On

by Kkane88



Series: The Rookies [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Sad, after the loss, on Adam's birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkane88/pseuds/Kkane88
Summary: After the Hawks lose on Adam's birthday, Kirby comes to comfort him.
Relationships: Adam Boqvist/Kirby Dach, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Series: The Rookies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887283
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> I was really really sad after the game and started writing this before the 3rd period (partially hoping if I wrote about them losing they would be stubborn and win but it didn't work.)  
> If you haven't seen the instagram post where Kirby calls Adam "my king" you can find me screaming about it [here](https://kkane88.tumblr.com/post/623556429489553408/my-king).

Adam sits down on the side of the bed in his hotel room and buries his face in his hands. He could fucking _cry_. He wasn't sure what to expect, going into the postseason and playing summer hockey for the first time, but it definitely wasn't _this._ They came out of the series against the Oilers so confident, sure they could do this, and they just _can't_. No matter what they do, how they play, the Knights keeping coming out on top. And he was _scratched_ last game, just him, like they think he can't do it, like someone else will be better for the team. Maybe they're right.

This fucking sucks.

He forces himself up and into the shower, trying to think of nothing from the game. He barely remembers Tazer's words from the locker room afterwards- the usual speech about not giving up and fighting back- but he remembers the angry tension Tazer held in his shoulders, the way Kaner's head drooped and Duncs slammed his equipment around, the way the entire room felt heavy and defeated. It was hard to breathe. He couldn't even look at Kirby, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment mirrored back at him.

He forces his mind away from it, thoughts instead wandering to what he saw right before he left the rink. He's always kinda suspected there was something going on between Kaner and Tazer but being in the bubble and seeing them together all the time has made him sure. He tried to look like he wasn't watching when Tazer guided Kaner into the corner with a hand on his back, leaned in close to talk quietly in Kaner's ear. Kaner was tense at first, but whatever Tazer said caused the fight to seep out of him slowly and he drooped forward, letting his forehead rest on Tazer's shoulder. Tazer's hand stroked up and down Kaner's spine, and something about the intimacy of it made Adam _ache_. He wants to be like that someday, that casually intimate with someone who knows him so well. He hadn't been able to stop his eyes from flickering over to Kirby, had felt the pang of longing and forced it down. Kirby loves him, but Kirby isn't _in love_ with him, and Adam doesn't know what to do with that. With another heavy sigh, he turns the water off and goes in search of his softest hoodie and sweatpants, falling into bed and staring at the TV, trying to decide whether he should turn it on or not. He's startled by a knock on the door. He knows who it is even before he checks the peep hole and he tries his best not to look sad when he pulls the door open.

"Hey," Adam says quietly, stepping back to let Kirby in. He's also got his comfort clothes on and Adam allows himself a small smile at the sight of the too-big hoodie and the fuzzy socks with cartoon sharks plastered over them. Without a word they both settle on the bed, laying so they're facing each other. There have been enough post-loss conversations like this that it's easy to fall into the routine of it and something about it is comforting to Adam in a way that routine always is for hockey players. Or maybe it's just the sight of Kirby in his bed, soft and comfortable and a little sad that makes Adam settle.

"I'm sorry we couldn't win for you on your birthday," Kirby says. "I couldn't even score a goal for you." Adam wants more than anything to reach out and soothe the lines off of Kirby's face, reassure him that he's good, could be _great_ someday, that Adam's the last thing he should be worried about. Adam's the one going from the top D-pairing to being healthy scratched. What are they even thinking, putting him with someone like Duncan Keith?

"I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough for _you_ ," Adam argues. "I was on the ice for one of those goals. It's my job to not let them happen."

"Shut up, it’s not your fault," Kirby says, poking Adam's shoulder. Adam means to just bat his hand away, but somehow their fingers get tangled and neither one of them lets go, their hands falling between them on the bed.

"It's not your fault either," he says firmly. "Maybe it's just not our year. Think of it as good experience for next year." He knows logically that it's true, but he also knows it's not going to make either of them feel better.

"Happy fucking birthday, eh?" Kirby forces a laugh. "At least you got to spend it with me." Adam grins at him; Kirby had spoiled him all day, getting his plate at breakfast, letting him pick the video games they played after practice, buying him a huge cupcake and smashing it in his face when he went to take a bite.

"I'm glad I did," he says sincerely, and Kirby looks at him closely before he smiles back. "It was the best birthday until 7:00." Kirby laughs for real, then, and the way he smiles at Adam makes something clench in his chest. He loves Kirby, a little bit. He's never been in love before, but he's sure this has to be it, the way it makes him feel like he's glowing from the inside out when they're together. He's seen Kirby happy and sad and angry and frustrated, he's seen how messy he can be, leaving his stuff laying all over the place. He's seen the high points and the low points, and he still looks at Kirby and thinks _I want you by my side forever._ He doesn't know what's coming through on his face, sadness or frustration or something else, but Kirby gently squeezes his fingers to draw his attention back.

"You wanna watch a movie?" he suggests. Adam knows he should say no; they have a game tomorrow, possibly their last one of the season, and they should get some rest. Instead, he rolls over to turn the lamp on the bedside off while Kirby grabs the remote and starts flipping through channels. Adam lays on his back and smiles when he sees the opening scene of Knives Out starting to roll. They saw this together in theatres when it came out and it became _their_ movie. They watch it together at least once a month, even over facetime when they were in different countries with a 7 hour time difference between them.

"My house, my rules, my coffee," Adam reads off, like he does every time.

"I should've got you one of those mugs for your birthday," Kirby says, and then completely short-circuits Adam's brain when he rolls over and lays his head on Adam's chest, slinging an arm around his waist. Adam freezes for a few seconds; they're pretty tactile normally, but they've never snuggled like this. Adam's into it, totally, but he doesn't really know what it _means_. He decides in a split second not to over think it, just wiggles his arm from under Kirby and lets his hand slide down to rest in the small of Kirby's back. They stay like that through the beginning of the movie, until Adam's warm and comfortable and drowsy. "You falling asleep on me, Boqer?" Kirby teases.

"I think it's _you_ falling asleep on _me_ ," Adam shoots back, fingers flexing against the fabric of Kirby's shirt. He's worried after he says it that Kirby's going to take it the wrong way and move, but he doesn't. If anything, he settles more firmly against Adam, reaching behind him to grab the blankets, pulling them over the both of them.

"Might as well get comfy," he says, and okay, apparently he's settling in for the night. Adam's certainly not going to complain, even if he is a little confused. "Good night, sweet prince."

"I thought I was your king." Adam really needs to figure out how to have more of a brain-to-mouth filter when he's tired, but Kirby just laughs.

"Only if I can be your queen," he says, patting a reassuring hand against Adam's side. Adam officially can't process any of this; it's like his brain says _nope_ and shuts off, and he goes along with it, tucking his arm more securely around Kirby's back.

"You can have whatever you want," Adam assures him. He drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face and the warm weight of Kirby pressed along his side. Even if they lose tomorrow, he'll always have this, and that's enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr:  
> [kkane88](https://kkane88.tumblr.com/)  
> [kwriteshockey](https://kwriteshockey.tumblr.com//)


End file.
